As I deepen in my meditation practice, my instinctual sense that we are born Sovereign and of LOVE, grows.
If my "Instincts" aren't "weighing in" during meditation, then I'm flatlined in concepts or an academic's idea of what meditation is — both of which live outside my body, outside my own direct experience.
Many popular meditation teachers/programs promote the idea that meditation works even if you're not satisfied, not "feeling it."
I don't buy that. Our bodies are intelligent and constantly providing feedback. Even boredom, ADHD, indifference, and numbness have sensory nuances that during meditation communicate through subtleties of sensation that are detectable; that can be felt.
When I practice tracking the experience of breath, sensation, sound, movement, space, impulse, intent, and flow -- the deeper I go into the tissue of my body where my natural self, my instinctual self, can feel herself, himself, itself more. Meditation that delivers me to feeling myself more -- is the only kind of meditation that shifts or transforms me.
Popular ideologies, gurus, and trendy guided meditation programs issue mantras or concepts like "relax," "surrender," or "let go." I've learned that it's more effective to meet the inner reality as it is without directing it to relax, surrender, or let go.
There is no need to prompt me to surrender; it comes naturally, in time, through "being with" the limits of my tissue and breath, which I've learned those limits have good reasons for being there.
The more agency I have in meditation to engage and play with my Instinctual Body, the more I discover and connect with the inner resources vital for being healthier, smarter, and happier.
One of those inner resources, and a game-changing one, is self-trust. Which, in this context, is the freedom to choose "surrender" when I KNOW through my own Inner Authority that it's safe for me to do so.
I've learned that following a "let go" or "relax" prompt from "outer other" before my Instinctual Body is ready, before the "stuck parts" inside have the resources THEY need, (like patience, compassion, understanding) can set me up for a recoil.
Arriving at Self Trust through building it and choosing it – in MY time, has been the straightforward path to my Sovereign Self – not the mantra, not the guru, not the strict practice.
Without my Instincts, the vast amount of information from my direct experience is meaningless. Meditation and Instincts naturally coalesce when given the space to -- raising energy, frequency, and vibration, quickly and exquisitely. I've learned that by design, Instincts function as an articulate feedback system for developing better health, decision making, and resilience, necessary components for a Sovereign life.
Instincts are requisite for experiencing the Creative, Fierce, and Sovereign Love that we are. I am grateful to my beloved Instincts for teaching me, (through meditation) the native language of my body, my Natural Self.
Through the collaboration between my Instincts and the natural state of Meditation that Loving Awareness is -- I can fully experience, claim and receive myself as LOVE, in tangible and deeply felt ways. Roar!